Make Video Games Cool Again: The Blue Skies Campaign

Posted by JacobSloan on June 30, 2011

We want to COLLECT BANANAS FROM MAGIC CASTLES not shoot enemies in unrealistic and shoddy drive-bys! We want to fight WEIRD MONSTERS not drug-dealing criminals!

Sure, video games are art nowadays, but do they have to be depressing art? In light of the preponderance of dark, dull, grey-and-brown-hued titles such as the Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto series, the Blue Skies in Games Campaign is a call for a return to the days when the ascendant video games were happily surreal and bursting with technicolor. In addition to more detailed discussion, a quick-fix series of suggestions is offered:

DEVELOPERS: HOW YOU CAN HELP TODAY!

- Change everything that’s grey into blue.
- From now on, everyone wears red shoes.
- Make everything happen at midday or sunset.
- Replace gun textures with banana textures.
- Turn all cars into pink convertibles that wobble and only do 15mph.
- If you get 100 of anything, a little tune plays.
- Instead of saying “crew” say “your buddies”.
- Instead of saying “hood” say “zone”.
- Make the female characters something other than prostitutes.
- Make the black characters something other than drug dealers.