Nugent has told Bill O'Reilly (while supposedly there to promote his book, Ted didn't back off the Ozzy ride for a minute) that Ozzy always spoke slurred and weird and acted like 'that'. If you watch and listen to Ozzy in his show and on Howard Stern reruns you may on the surface hear a guy who's nearly unintelligible, but if you truly listen; you'll hear a man who's devastatingly witty and funny and sharp and realistic and pretty grounded. His alleged maestro Sharon says and does what she wants and Ozzy seems to enjoy that aspect of her, not be held down or manipulated by it. Yet Ted seems so sure that Ozzy's slurred speech is proof of why he's better than-cause he didn't do drugs. The more I hear Ted the more I think he needs a night alone in the woods with a bottle of Kentucky bourbon.

People are laughing with the Osbournes. They only laugh at because they get them, they relate to them. I guarantee a series featuring the Nugent tribe for months on end would be so boorish that it would barely eke out a full season's worth of true entertainment. Ted's yuk yuk statements and his hubris are far from engaging or human. They're bullshit and the audience would see that and tune in initially out of curiosity, then tune out after figuring it out. Of course Ted would then insert several episodes where he hunts and the audience would be titillated into tuning in to watch Bambi and Boo Boo die.

Again, Nugent's ineptitude is never more clear than when he talks about substance abuse. He's under the misguided snobbery that addiction is all about discipline. Conquering it may indeed incorporate a level of discipline that feels heroic but what gets most abusers to their lot is not laziness or apathy. It's the same kind of deep rooted crap that causes him to be a blow hardly gun freak with a hypocritical plan for the world. There are not 'Three Levels" of drug abuse. I don't think even a hardcore AA member would be so insulting as to pigeonhole the tragedy of addiction. Nugent is forgetting that a great number of his followers are likely drunks who don't believe they are.

Funnier Than Richard Pryor?

There is no way to fairly expurgate Ted's own words; proof that his joy comes not from having the God-given American freedom to shoot to kill and tote arms, but that he thrives on attention:

"I comment on this stuff, and I'm on the phone with Salon.com. And CNN, and Fox and MSNBC and CNBC and ABC and NBC and CBS and Stern and Holmes and ABC radio and Ollie North and Larry King and G. Gordon Liddy and Rush Limbaugh. I plunge into the major media every day of my life because I am a funny guy. I'm an entertaining sonofabitch. In fact, I got the ultimate compliment the other day: You ready? This is it. This is the mountaintop. You ready? I'm so funny, I'm funnier than Richard Pryor on fire. "

If he believes he's funnier than Richard Pryor he should be on crack. Larry King believes in John Edward, fake psychic. G. Gordon is a national disgrace masquerading as a patriot. Stern exploits Nugent while not respecting a single thing he says. Ollie North is a traitor and a liar. Rush Limbaugh is all about Rush. Being on those people's programs does not make him an entertaining sonofabitch. It makes him a bookable ratings booster.

Nugent's appearance in the Wall Street Journal is evidence only that he influences an ungodly number of foolish people who make up a tasty demographic. Nothing more. Ted thinks saying something is 'soulless' is the final word on a philosophy.

He brags about not 'hiring people to kill for him' . Hate to break it to him but most of the country (including all of his fans) have to do just that and wouldn't get up off their asses to do otherwise unless they survived a ground war without nuclear weaponry.

Ted again misconstrues the situation of most hunt able wildlife. True. Scores of wildlife, particularly deer, starve every winter in our parks and hunting reserves. Hunters used to rightly refer to it as a humane way of making something out of the cruel cycle of life. Ted, who lives in a multimillion dollar complex out in the middle of easily imported wilderness; doesn't live near or deal with the reserves that have shrunk within the confines of rapidly abused developed and overdeveloped rural areas, like those in NJ, Pennsylvania, NY, Kentucky, etc. One major reason we've got such a 'glut' of critters in some areas is because they've been pushed into a small patch of over foraged and crowded territory.

In Los Angeles alone, bears, wildcats, you name it, are venturing into yards and places where people dwelled. Not because there are so many of them, but because there are so many of them in an increasingly smaller habitat, a change brought about by humans with lots of money--most who don't have the cash that Uncle Ted does.

Crusading Against Gaia

Does Ted crusade against the rampant politically sanctioned over-development that regularly transpires in semi rural and rural places that are conveniently located to employment rich metros? No, he's pissed off at anyone who doesn't hunt and kill everything they eat. Even though it's impossible for him to do that.

Ted says, "What I do is pure." He assumes the bank vault approach to gun legislation held by die-hard National Rifle Association paranoids. All or nothing. But he fails to see the impurity of having such an easy availability to guns.

Ted really thinks he's being inspirational. The following quote comes from someone who is not concerned about the earth or animals.

"The anti-hunters haven't bought one cattail! They haven't saved a blade of grass! They have way more money than we do, and all they do is create a literature of propaganda with ugly bitches who say they'd rather be naked than wear a fur coat! I'd rather cover them with poop -- whatever it takes, cover those bitches up!"