Florida’s ‘Rocket Docket’ Courts Help Banks Force Out Homeowners
The inimitable Matt Taibbi went down to Florida and found that retired judges are rushing through complex cases to speed foreclosures. Guess who the losers are (Hint: it’s not the banks)? From Rolling Stone:
The foreclosure lawyers down in Jacksonville had warned me, but I was skeptical. They told me the state of Florida had created a special super-high-speed housing court with a specific mandate to rubber-stamp the legally dicey foreclosures by corporate mortgage pushers like Deutsche Bank and JP Morgan Chase. This “rocket docket,” as it is called in town, is presided over by retired judges who seem to have no clue about the insanely complex financial instruments they are ruling on — securitized mortgages and labyrinthine derivative deals of a type that didn’t even exist when most of them were active members of the bench. Their stated mission isn’t to decide right and wrong, but to clear cases and…
Building Sandcastles Illegal On Florida Beaches
Put your plastic spade and bucket away if you’re heading to the beach in Florida. No digging means no sandcastle building. The Raw Story reports:
Ever go to the beach and not think of slapping together a sand castle? And who doesn’t enjoy the feeling of wet, warm sand between her toes?
According to federal authorities who recently intercepted an oil-hunting reporter on a Florida beach, those activities have been deemed “illegal.”
The officers’ legal revelation (which is not actually true) came as something of a surprise to Dan Thomas, reporter for WEAR ABC 3 in Pensacola, Florida, who was visiting the Gulf Islands National Seashore for a special report.
Continues at The Raw Story …
Quran Burning Story: This Is How The Media Embarrass Themselves
Jason Linkins writes on Huffington Post:
[Thursday] afternoon, the leader of a microscopic cult of idiots who announced plans to stage an “international” day of Quran burning in Gainesville, Florida held a press conference, for a rapt media which decided that his moronic plans were the single most important thing going on in America. At that press conference, in front of “9/11 Truther” signs, this cult leader lied to everyone who was watching, telling them that he was going to call off his 9/11 book burning festival because he had successfully reached a deal with the people behind the Park51 community center in Lower Manhattan, in which they would move their facility away from the site of the World Trade Center.
Not a word of this was true, but it was amazing, all the same — at one fell swoop, we had finally knit up the strands of a season of irrationality…
Florida Baby Facebook Photo Sparks Controversy
Michael Phelps got caught through Facebook, why not a baby! They do say a picture is worth a thousand hits, um, words. CBS News reports:
Nineteen-year-old Rachel Stieringer turned herself in to Clay County Sheriff’s deputies and has been charged with possession of drug paraphernalia after she took a picture of her baby “smoking” out of a bong and posted it on Facebook.
Stieringer claimed that the photo was taken as a joke to show one of her friends; however, the supposed prank backfired big time when a Texas resident got wind of the photo and notified Florida’s abuse hot line.
The Florida Department of Children and Families launched an investigation into Stieringer’s parenting skills and announced Monday that although the bong appears to be smoke-filled the baby sustained no injuries in the taking of this photo, and his drug tests came back negative.
However, his chances of someday being appointed to the Supreme Court…
Florida State Senator Watches Dog Video, Topless Women Online During Abortion Debate
The local news in Florida captured an amusing video of Republican Mike Bennett’s activities on the floor of the state Senate: using his government laptop to surf for soft-core porn and cute animal videos. This was during the debate of a controversial abortion bill. Bennett explained that there had been “confusion” when attempting to view an “email about an item being debated on the Senate floor.” From the Sunshine State News:
Florida Vampire Running For President
“He does have republican values…” Well, of course he does.
Florida Woman Arrested for Shaving Private Parts While Driving
CBS4 reports:
CUDJOE KEY ― You’ve heard of the dangers of texting while driving, and talking on the phone while behind the wheel of a car. But how many people actually debate the merits of doing a little, well, “landscaping” while on the road?
According to the Florida Highway Patrol, a two-car crash on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman who was shaving her bikini area while in the driver’s seat. Her ex-husband was steering from the passenger seat.
Trooper Gary Dunick explained, “She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit.”
Megan Mariah Barnes and her ex-husband Charles Judy were driving southbound Tuesday morning when they slammed into the back of a pick-up driven by David Schoff of Palm Bay after he slowed to take a turn.
Read More: CBS4
