So, with prejudice and pride, let our freaky flag of racism fly over the crumbling ruins of indigenous history!

h/t Earthsharing.org.au

“Either @rupertmurdoch is genuinely now on Twitter, or some disgruntled ex-NOTW journo just won the hacking Olympics.”

Less than two days after joining Twitter, media mogul Rupert Murdoch appears to have had his first brush with tweeting-before-thinking, after suggesting that the British have too many holidays for a “broke country”.

Though Mr Murdoch, who joined Twitter less than 48 hours ago and already has almost 40,000 followers, quickly deleted the message, it was preserved by some Twitter users and quickly spread around the website.

“Maybe Brits have too many holidays for broke country!” Mr Murdoch, who is holidaying on the Caribbean island of Saint Barthelemy, wrote about 6am Australian time.

Publish and be damned … the tweet that Murdoch withdrew.

His wife, Wendi Deng, also appears to have joined the increasingly ubiquitous microblogging site, quickly replied: “RUPERT!! delete tweet!!”

Within minutes the Wendi Deng account, which has not yet been verified and may not be genuine, continued: “EVERY1 @rupertmurdoch was only having a joke pROMSIE!!!”

Minutes later: “explaining to @rupertmurdoch about being careful with humor on line. sometimes it comes out as rude!”

About five hours later Mr Murdoch revealed his Twitter profile was causing people close to him some angst…

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/new-to-twitter-the-tweet-murdoch-took-down–fast-20120102-1phxs.html#ixzz1iPkaXDYh

Keane was a good sport about fake Amazon reviews that gushed about supposedly hidden literary themes in collections of his newspaper comic strips, and he once even drew his own characters into a “guest appearance” in a Zippy the Pinhead strip. But in 1999, Keane’s syndicate threatened legal action against the “Dysfunctional Family Circus” site, which had been re-captioning Keane’s cartoons for over four years.

Heading off a “free speech” showdown, Keane resolved the situation with a friendly phone call to the webmaster, who ultimately decided to voluntarily remove the images just because “He’s actually a nice guy.”

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“I have reached the point where I say enough,” and added “I’ve reached my limit. This may bring my presidency down, but I will not yield on this,” according to the Republican aide. After leaving the debt talks, Obama said this confirms the totality of what the American people already believe” about Washington politicians who are “too focused on positioning and political posturing.” (RawStory)

Disinfo.com site note: New video link, thanks to commenters below.

“The behavior on display before us in this instance constitutes a perfect SCANDAL in the eyes of our sacred parliamentary traditions. This method of proceeding cannot call to mind words any loftier or more noble than “poltroon” and “knave”. I understand that the accepted standards of comportment may not be all they could in some of the darker corners of the great state of Wisconsin, but I see no reason to drag them into the sacred halls of our legislature.”

—Regarding the extraordinary violation of Wisconsin’s open meetings law by which Republican majority leader “Big Fitz” Fitzgerald surreptitiously passed Gov. Walker’s union-busting bill.)

______________________

“I am led to believe that Mr. Fitzgerald holds some strong opinions regarding the physical attractiveness, or lack thereof, of the typical Wisconsin voter. No doubt the feeling is heartily reciprocated. Indeed, I daresay that Mr. Fitzgerald’s but-tocks are still sportin’ the friction burns from his mother’s desparate attempts to force in a feedin’ bottle.”

—Regarding Senate majority leader Scott Fitzgerald’s comments suggesting that Wisconsin citizens “smell bad”. Stay classy, Fitz.

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“I obtain an uncommon degree of satisfaction from Represenative Ryan’s enthusiastic sallies onto the rhetorical battlefield of economic policy; they are a reliable source of great amusement. Only a comedic genius of Rabelaisian proportions or a complete imbecile would prescribe a tourniquet around the throat as a treatment appropriate for a patient dying of thirst.”

—Regarding the brutally counterproductive austerity plan proposed by Janesville’s Paul Ryan.

______________________

“I personally find the extraordinary conduct exhibited within Waukesha county to be scarcely unworthy of a mangey street mongel much less purported gentlemen and ladies. It is a shocking disappointment, to say the least.”

—Regarding the transparent fraud approved by the so-called Government Accountability Board during the recount in the Prosser/Kloppenburg race.

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“No, sir, I do not hold any degree in the biological sciences. I cannot opine on the plausibility of a human male siring offspring by union with a she-goat.  As such, I decline to further entertain any notions regarding the true parentage of the Government Accountability Board’s Kevin Kennedy.”

—Apparently a reflection of the current esteem in which Mr. Kennedy is held, given the Prosser fraud in Waukesha and the approval of 3 recall elections against “Wisconsin 14″ senators, despite literally hundreds of signatures found to have been obtained through fraudulent means.

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Yet another blot upon the escutcheon of the Dystopia Diaries

Congressman Anthony Weiner

Weinergate inspires a parody by John Kenney in the New Yorker:

Why wouldn’t I?

It’s my penis. And as a great man once said, it’s meant to be photographed. Though I have no idea who that great man was.

Where some people have photos of their families on their desks at work, I have photos of my penis. My penis on vacation in the Bahamas. My penis in Madrid, on a business trip, the Prado in the background (slightly out of focus). My penis receiving an award for Outstanding Employee of the Month.

At birthdays and holidays I like to send photographs of my penis to friends and family. My in-laws, Marge and Walter, say they always look forward to getting my penis Christmas card.

Someone asked me recently when I started taking pictures of my penis and sending them to people, and I honestly couldn’t remember. College, maybe? All I know is that one day I picked up a Nikon SLR and thought, “Maybe I should look down my pants and take a photo and then send it to some people.”

And I’m not alone in history.

Teddy Roosevelt, for instance, was a big fan of photographing his penis, and would pose for hours at a time…

continues in the New Yorker

Dildo Sport from Paulilu Productions on Vimeo.

Donald Trump disrespects New Yorkers by taking Sarah Palin to a pizza chain and eating his stacked slices with a fork.

International Business Times

Move aside, Chuck Norris, Ron Paul Facts is now in.

Ron Paul, a Texas Congressman and 2012 presidential hopeful, has inspired a fiercely loyal following around the country with his straight-talking Libertarian approach.

The Federal Reserve? End it! … Income taxes? Don’t need it! … Troops abroad? Send them home! … The UN and NATO? Pull out of them!

On the Internet, Ron Paul is king. Back in the 2008 Republican presidential primaries, he became known for winning virtually every single internet and text message poll. This ardent online support in has spawned the “Ron Paul Facts” in 2011.

Below are some “facts” about Ron Paul, taken from the Ron Paul Facts website.

Ron Paul has no alarm clock, but instead wakes every morning to the call of freedom.

Ron Paul doesn’t go the gym. He stays fit by exercising his civil rights.

Ron Paul delivers babies without his hands. He simply reads them the Bill of Rights and they crawl out in anticipation of freedom.

Ron Paul wasn’t born. He liberated himself from the womb.

Ron Paul doesn’t pee. He liberates urine

Studies by the World Health Organization show that Ron Paul is the leading cause of freedom among men.

Ron Paul can fly, but doesn’t because its unconstitutional.

Ron Paul could lead a horse to water AND convince it to drink, but he doesn’t believe the government has the right to so he refuses.

Ron Paul doesn’t cut taxes. He kills them with his bare hands.

For more information, see original article.

A lot of people think the Rapture is coming May 21. It’s not. But assuming your pets are okay, here’s a prank we’d like you to pull. We call it Rapture Bombing.

On May 21, get a bunch of your old clothes in full sets of pants, shirts, and shoes. Bonus points if you leave accessories like an old watch or sunglasses to go with them. Lay them out as if people have suddenly disappeared, leaving only the clothes behind. Be creative.

Take pictures. Post them on our Facebook page, or tweet them with the hashtag #rapturebomb.

We’ll run the best ones; our favorites will win prizes. (Don’t get too excited—we’re talkin’ iPhone cases and shit.) And if you make your local news? You’ll be Giz’s hero for the day.

Here are some more post-”Rapture” photos.

CORUSCANT— Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mastermind of some of the most devastating attacks on the Galactic Empire and the most hunted man in the galaxy, was killed in a firefight with Imperial forces near Alderaan, Darth Vader announced on Sunday.

In a late-night appearance in the East Room of the Imperial Palace, Lord Vader declared that “justice has been done” as he disclosed that agents of the Imperial Army and stormtroopers of the 501st Legion had finally cornered Kenobi, one of the leaders of the Jedi rebellion, who had eluded the Empire for nearly two decades. Imperial officials said Kenobi resisted and was cut down by Lord Vader’s own lightsaber. He was later dumped out of an airlock.

The news touched off an extraordinary outpouring of emotion as crowds gathered in the Senate District and outside the Imperial Palace, waving imperial flags, cheering, shouting, laughing and chanting, “Hail to the Emperor! Hail Lord Vader!” In the alien protection zone, crowds sang “The Ten Thousand Year Empire.” Throughout the Sah’c district, airspeeder drivers honked horns deep into the night.

More on the Galatic Empire News

Barack Obama sent Navy Seal Team 6 to take out Osama Bin Laden in Abbottabad and made a statement confirming it on Sunday night. Former President George W. Bush finally responds to who and what has been terrorizing him for years.

Update: this was intended to be humorous. But, apparently, it’s not too far off from actual “birther” arguments.

Via The Cheat Sheet tumblr: