Jesus Thwarts An Armed Robbery (Video)
In all fairness to the Good Lord’s superpowers, this convert to Christ did go on to rob another store the same day. I wonder how he’d hold up against Darth Vader, who recently robbed a bank in Long Island. Via the AP:
Authorities in South Florida have charged the man they say backed out of robbing a MetroPCS store after an employee spoke with him about Jesus. The Broward County Sheriff’s Office said Friday that 37-year-old Israel Camacho of Coral Springs later committed an armed robbery caught on surveillance video at a Payless ShoeSource.
Investigators say Camacho entered a Metro PCS store in Pompano Beach last Friday, chatting with an employee and then displaying a gun and demanding cash from the register. The employee, Nayara Goncalves, spoke with Camacho about church and God and eventually convinced him not to hurt her.
Authorities say he robbed the Payless ShoeSource a few hours later. He has been charged with armed robbery and attempted armed robbery.
Jesus, Sodomy, and Glocks
Via the First Church of Mutterhals:
That sounds like a Warren Zevon song from hell, but it’s not. It’s what I saw on someone’s car on the way to work today. Three bumper stickers, right in a row; the first one said Jesus Saves, Obama Spends. The second said Obama is Socializing and Sodomizing America. The third said Body Piercings by Glock.
Let me pull up my favorite arm chair and give this guy a go. I think his choice in bumper stickers has less to do with his distaste for Obama and his policies and more to do with his fervent desire to get reamed long and hard by a Jewish hippie. Of course, that’s really none of my business. But is it appropriate to put your deep seated sexual fantasies on the back of your car?
Also, I thought christians were supposed to be anti-sodomy? I distinctly remember a ‘no spilling…
Glenn Beck Sez, “The Jews Killed Jesus”
Yes, it’s another day and another piece of drivel from the mouth of Glenn Beck. This time it’s one of the bedrocks of antisemitism — that the Jews killed Jesus. How much longer until this guy overstays his welcome? Does his audience have an infinite capacity to absorb this stuff?
Here’s the story at Gawker:
Dream presidential candidate Glennifer Beck was on his television program last night talking about liberation theology and religion and stuff and he dropped some theological-historical knowledge on us: The Jews killed Jesus! Haven’t you missed that old saw?
Yeah, the “Jews killed Jesus” thing is one of the bedrock “arguments” of antisemitism and Glenn Beck, known Mormon, just up and said it…
Did Jesus Really Die On A Cross?
Assuming Jesus was a real person, did he die on a cross? A Christian scholar is arguing that the “Christ on a cross” idea seems to be a complete fabrication, with no reliable ancient texts indicating that crucifixion was an execution method of the era, and the Bible itself saying only that Jesus died on a staurus (pole). Which means that rather being a symbol of ultimate sacrifice, the Christian cross is a branding/graphic design choice. From the Atlantic:
The crucifixion is apparently under review. In his doctoral thesis, newly graduated Swedish theologian Gunnar Samuelsson argues that the cross Jesus supposedly died on may not actually have been a cross. He explains in an interview with DRadio Wissen, a German station: “the New Testament said that Jesus died some way on something called a staurus … that’s a Greek name for a cross or a pole or something … I call it…
Lightning Burns Up Six-Story Jesus Statue in Ohio (Video)
Act of God? Can you believe this statue was nicknamed “Touchdown Jesus”? Man, God is a tough quarterback … Reports the AP:
A six-story statue of Jesus Christ was struck by lightning and burned to the ground, leaving only a blackened steel skeleton and pieces of foam that were scooped up by curious onlookers Tuesday.
The “King of Kings” statue, one of southwest Ohio’s most familiar landmarks, had stood since 2004 at the evangelical Solid Rock Church along Interstate 75 in Monroe, just north of Cincinnati.
The sculpture, about 62 feet tall and 40 feet wide at the base, showed Jesus from the torso up and was nicknamed “Touchdown Jesus” because of the way the arms were raised, similar to a referee signaling a touchdown. It was made of plastic foam and fiberglass over a steel frame, which is all that remained Tuesday.
The nickname is the same used for a famous mural of the resurrected Jesus that overlooks the Notre Dame football stadium.
The fire spread from the statue to an adjacent amphitheater but was confined to the attic area, and no one was injured, police Chief Mark Neu said.
What Did Jesus Do?
Adam Gopnik asks some tough questions about Jesus, “reading and unreading the Gospels,” in the New Yorker:
When we meet Jesus of Nazareth at the beginning of the Gospel of Mark, almost surely the oldest of the four, he’s a full-grown man. He comes down from Galilee, meets John, an ascetic desert hermit who lives on locusts and wild honey, and is baptized by him in the River Jordan. If one thing seems nearly certain to the people who read and study the Gospels for a living, it’s that this really happened: John the Baptizer—as some like to call him, to give a better sense of the original Greek’s flat-footed active form—baptized Jesus. They believe it because it seems so unlikely, so at odds with the idea that Jesus always played the star in his own show: why would anyone have said it if it weren’t true? This curious criterion governs historical criticism of Gospel texts: the more improbable or “difficult” an episode or remark is, the likelier it is to be a true record, on the assumption that you would edit out all the weird stuff if you could, and keep it in only because the tradition is so strong that it can’t plausibly be excluded. If Jesus says something nice, then someone is probably saying it for him; if he says something nasty, then probably he really did…
Image of Jesus in Google Maps
Jesus, why so long to appear on Google Maps?
Was the burned bacon fat in the frying pan coming from a false messenger?
More on perceptions of religious imagery in natural phenomena on Wikipedia.
Axis of Awesome: What Would Jesus Do?
Since those of you in these gents‘ vicinity might be wide-awake right now, here’s a question for you. What is the chance of the Axis of Awesome going on American TV with this song?
Thanks for the input, Disinfo readers around the globe. My take is I’d never see these guys on American network TV with this song, or basic cable (but they may have a shot on the pay-extra cable networks). Good luck to them…
A Panorama of the Passion
The JoeBot writes on Confessions of a CyberCasualty:
Pt 1: The Death Day of Jesus Christ
Millions believe that all of human history hinges on a killing that occurred outside the walls of Jerusalem, nearly two thousand years ago. Jesus of Nazareth entered the city on a donkey one day and left carrying a cross. This was an apparent victory for the Pharisees, an incomprehensible tragedy for his disciples, and a brutal spectacle for the multitudes. It was also a great disappointment to Jews clinging to conventional expectations of the Messiah. Their prophets had foretold a Son of David who would liberate the nation of Israel, restoring her to earthly supremacy. Yet there was Jesus — the supposed “King of the Jews” — hanging powerless on a blood-drenched tree.
According to the Evangelists, the wandering rabbi saw it coming. Three chapters of John’s Gospel are devoted to Jesus’ reflection upon his impending demise.…
Philip Pullman on Free Speech and ‘The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ’ (Video)
Philip Pullman answers a question on the title of his new book, The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ (available now in the UK and the U.S. on May 20th). This video was filmed at the Sheldonian Theatre, Oxford on March, 28 2010.
Is This the State of Religion in America?
Via the very interesting Tumblr blog All That’s Interesting:
Much more to discover on All That’s Interesting
Does Jesus Hate Klingons More Than Captain Kirk?
The video you’ve been waiting for … if what you’ve been waiting for is a low-budget version of Star Trek in which the Enterprise crew are evangelicals.
From Everything Is Terrible:
Glenn Beck Denounces Jesus’ Values
Glenn Beck at CPAC 2010. Photo: Gage Skidmore CC
Hard to believe, but mad Mormon Glenn Beck has publicly told Christians to give up their churches if they hear anything there about social justice, as reported in the New York Times:
Last week, the conservative broadcaster Glenn Beck called on Christians to leave their churches if they heard any preaching about social or economic justice because, he claimed, those were slogans affiliated with Nazism and Communism.
This week, the Rev. Jim Wallis, a liberal evangelical leader in Washington, D.C., called on Christians to leave Glenn Beck.
“What he has said attacks the very heart of our Christian faith, and Christians should no longer watch his show,” Mr. Wallis, who heads the antipoverty group Sojourners, wrote on his “God’s Politics” blog. “His show should now be in the same category as Howard Stern.”
Mr. Beck, in vilifying churches that promote “social justice,” managed to insult just…
Elton John: Jesus Was Gay
Flamboyant British pop icon Elton John is making headlines for a controversial interview in, of all places, Parade, the (usually) boring Sunday newspaper magazine. Some choice samples:
“I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don’t know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East — you’re as good as dead.”
“Just about every relationship I ever had was involved with drugs. It never works. But I always had to be with someone, good or bad, otherwise I didn’t feel fulfilled. I’d lost the plot.”
“For some people a gram of cocaine can last a month. Not me. I have to do the lot, and then I want more. At the end of the day, all it led to was heartache.”
“Princess Diana, Gianni…
Jihad for Jesus: More Evidence The Pentagon Is Fighting A Religious Crusade
From MOX News:
Passions Over ‘Prosperity Gospel’: Was Jesus Wealthy?
John Blake reports for CNN:
Each Christmas, Christians tell stories about the poor baby Jesus born in a lowly manger because there was no room in the inn.
But the Rev. C. Thomas Anderson, senior pastor of the Living Word Bible Church in Mesa, Arizona, preaches a version of the Christmas story that says baby Jesus wasn’t so poor after all.
Anderson says Jesus couldn’t have been poor because he received lucrative gifts — gold, frankincense and myrrh — at birth. Jesus had to be wealthy because the Roman soldiers who crucified him gambled for his expensive undergarments. Even Jesus’ parents, Mary and Joseph, lived and traveled in style, he says.
“Mary and Joseph took a Cadillac to get to Bethlehem because the finest transportation of their day was a donkey,” says Anderson. “Poor people ate their donkey. Only the wealthy used it as transportation.”
Many Christians see Jesus as the poor, itinerant preacher who…
Jesus Shooting Santa
A man in Santa Maria, California has stoked outrage locally with his lawn display of Jesus shooting Santa Claus with a double-barreled shotgun, to protest the lack of attention paid to Christ at Christmastime. Residents are concerned by the scene’s close proximity to a school bus stop. I think it’s healthy for kids to see Jesus “taking out the trash.”
This Christmas, Bring Home A Crucifix Tree
Christian-themed retailer Boss Creations is “putting the ‘Christ’ back into Christmas.”
Putting one of these in the living room is a real conversation-starter…and after the holiday season is over you can hang laundry on it, or something.
Jerusalem Tomb Discovery Casts Further Doubt On Turin Shroud
From the Telegraph:
Archaeologists say they have discovered the first known pieces of a burial shroud from the time of Jesus in Jerusalem, casting doubt on the authenticity of the Turin Shroud.
Researchers believe the fabric of the fragments, the first of their kind to be discovered in Jerusalem, are of a different weave to those of the Turin Shroud, hailed by many as Christ’s burial cloth but dismissed by others as a fake.
Radiocarbon tests on artefacts found in the cave, in Jerusalem’s Old City, prove almost beyond doubt that it was from the same time of Christ’s death. It was made with a two-way weave – not the twill weave used on the Turin Shroud, which textile experts say was introduced more than 1,000 years after Christ lived.
Professor Shimon Gibson, the archaeologist who discovered the tomb, said ancient writings and contemporary shrouds from other areas had suggested this design, and…
The Real Jesus Of The Bible: ‘Everything You Know About God Is Wrong’
The following is a small portion of the late Ruth Hurmence Green’s “The God From Galilee,” one of 41 articles in the Disinformation anthology, Everything You Know About God Is Wrong: The Disinformation Guide to Religion, edited by Russ Kick. Other contributors include Richard Dawkins, Neil Gaiman, Douglas Rushkoff, and H.G. Wells.
In this 25-page article, this archetypal gray-haired granny simply reads the New Testament — particularly the Gospels — and reports what she finds about Jesus: his insults and angry words, his deceptions, his impatience, his contradictions, his hellfire and damnation preaching, his braggadocio, his purposely confusing parables, his refusal to heal a little Gentile girl, his failure to condemn slavery, his horrible treatment of his own family, etc., etc. The results will be shocking to most Christians, and even non-Christians will be stunned to learn that everything they knew about Jesus is wrong. Here are some tasty bits from…
