People resort to the black market for all sorts of stolen goods: cellphones, watches, cars, babies. But used cooking oil? According to the Washington Post, that’s a thing too.

Thieves are now moving into the green market by stealing used cooking oil from the back of restaurants. They sell the sludge to recyclers, who then process it into biodiesel. The oil can go for as much as $4 per gallon on the down low.

Since this is a pretty new criminal enterprise, police aren’t entirely sure what to do with the perps — or how to stop the theft from happening. In some states it’s a misdemeanor. Meanwhile in Virginia, two men caught greaselifting were charged with grand larceny. Serves you right for those sticky, err, slippery fingers.

Even preschool teachers unwind with a round of drinks now and then. But in professional kitchens, where the hours are long, the pace intense and the goal is to deliver pleasure, the need to blow off steam has long involved substances that are mind-altering and, often enough, illegal.

“Everybody smokes dope after work,” said Anthony Bourdain, the author and chef who made his name chronicling drugs and debauchery in professional kitchens. “People you would never imagine.”

So while it should not come as a surprise that some chefs get high, it’s less often noted that drug use in the kitchen can change the experience in the dining room.

In the 1980s, cocaine helped fuel the frenetic open kitchens and…